My friend is always “snatchy”-how do I cope?

Dear PRIMcess:

I have a really good friend, who I like a lot.  One thing drives me crazy though, if I have something in my hand, like a book or a game on my phone–really anything–she will say “Let me see.”  But then before I can react she will actually grab whatever it is out of my hand.  This makes me crazy, and then I have to keep after her to get the item back, unless I want to just snatch back. How do I get her to back off?

Grrrrrr in Greenville

Dear Grrrrr:

Since you mention that this is someone you like a lot, I assume you get along in most other aspects of your relationship, and this is one of those “one-off” things, like chewing gum with your mouth open, or heavy breathing, that is for the most part relatively harmless, and a situation where the person in question probably doesn’t even get that they are doing anything annoying.

You could always try confronting your friend, kindly of course, and say something along the lines of “Do you realize that you are snatching this out of my hand?  Uber-annoying, please knock it off.”

But, let’s say that you’ve already tried that option, and are not pleased with the results.  Let’s again assume that the friend in question is unaware of the effect of their actions (they are not being annoying on purpose, like a little brother would).  I would say practice your grip, and illustrate just how out of control the snatching really is.  For example, you just scored a record on Plants vs Zombies.  Announce it, and prepare for Ms. Snatchy, but don’t give up the phone.  Be strong, even if you have to wrestle.  If it comes to that, saying something along the lines of “Jeez, calm down.  I just wanted to put it to the score screen before I gave it to you.”  Say this lightly, like its a little bit funny, but a little bit weird to.  Then put the phone to the score screen and hand it over.  Let her have her fill, offer her a chance to beat your awesome score, then make an excuse for getting your device back (in this scenario, adjust as needed depending on the circumstances).  You have to text your mom an update of when you will be home, your battery is about to die and you can’t charge it right now, whatever.  Just say something true, or at the very least true-ish.  Then text your mom, and put the phone away.    This may require a couple repeat performances, but unless your friend has bricks for brains, she will figure it out.

 

Oh, and just to spell it out, never NEVER okay to grab things out of someone else’s hand,  Doesn’t matter if its your mom (especially NOT your mom), your best friend, or your oh-so-deserving little brother.  It’s annoying to everyone, not just this poster.  The best way to determine what is good manners is to consider the Golden Rule.  Do to others what you wish they would do to you, to paraphrase. 

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